Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Home schooling, frugal momma came from somewhere...

Let start off by saying this blog will show you my fiery side...proceed with caution!

I am finding lately that we are a minority.  I don't mean our ethnicity, I just mean our lifestyle choices.  It is a fact I have always known, but have come head to head with quite frequently recently.

First of all we are Christian.  A lot of our friends are not.  Some are but do not practice.  Other are even atheist or something close to it.  Some are just in a limbo of sorts.  We love them no matter how different our beliefs are.

Next, we are choosing to live a traditional lifestyle where I stay home and raise the kids, take care of the home and even home school.  This is the area we meet the most debate in.  I have truly felt a lack of respect as an individual as of late.  In fact, one person went so far as to say, "You're just a stay at home mom."  Others believe I have a schedule I can just drop whenever they need me to help them.  Some wonder if I do anything all day.  "Man, I wish I could just stay home all day and play."  Yes, cause that is exactly what I do.    If you don't know me very well, let me tell you that I am 33 with a husband and 2 children ages 6 and 1.  It is harder to stand up for what we chose than it is to take the responsibility of caring for my house and my family.  Most times I can stand firm.  But there are a few occasions where I truly wish I had a "real" job so I could gain respect as a human being!!  How sad is that?  

I came from somewhere, you know.  I went to college and became a teacher.  I taught for several years before taking what was my college job as an aerial acrobat and turning it into a career change.  I got into stunts and performing live at Disney as Jane in the Tarzan Rocks show.  I loved what I did.  I got to work on some film and tv and travel a bit.  I even got paid a good amount of money!  It was my job before and after having kids and I could still do it today if I wanted, but my choice right now is to raise my kids.  I have written some children's books that were once published, though not anymore, and have completed a novel.  That life is a has-been life.  A life I was proud of, but it is not me now.  Now my husband and I defend ourselves to everyone.  And I mean everyone.  I am just now getting back to writing thanks to my blog.  It has sparked me a little, but in order to fit it into my schedule, I have had to cut out working out for a while.  Otherwise there is not time for school, planning and children.  It is scheduled in.

It is my desire that anyone who questions the lifestyle of a stay at home mom or dad or a home school parent, at the very least, observes them for a while.  Take a few steps in their shoes before you assume they are playing coloring and finger painting all day and are around to be at everyone else's disposal.  Understand that it takes strength and endurance like I never knew even as an acrobat.  It takes patience and kindness while being able to discipline and manage.  I quite literally manage our household!

We take hits on a regular basis for living a little more frugally than most people we know.  We have been doing this for a few years and are seeing the reward now.  When I tell someone I shop at several stores so I can keep my groceries down they tell me they don't have time.  That must mean I have lots of it right?  No, it is just my choice to make THAT part of my JOB.  We also choose not to eat out.  That is why I cook EVERY night and make sure we have left overs.  I plan our meals with schedules in mind.  Remember that schedule I mentioned?  Yes.  I have a schedule. It probably doesn't look like yours but that doesn't make it easy.  We also drive frugally.  We combine trips and when we leave the house we route exactly where we are going so we do not have to do any unnecessary driving.  I am a deal seeker.  We choose to live like this so later in our lives we can do as we please.

I was somebody pretty cool.  I loved telling people what I used to do.  So why now, does it feel like something I need to defend when the outcome of what I am doing will be so much greater than anything I ever did in my past?  Why is going against our culture for our family so difficult for others to accept?  Are we hurting anyone?

I just thought I'd ask.


  1. Anyone who makes you feel bad for your choce of lifestyle may not really a friend to you. They arn't looking at what works best for your family. What works for one person certinaly does NOT working for another. Good for you for defending who you are!

  2. There is no need to defend. I'm sorry you go through that. I think what you guys do is so admirable! I wish I had that dedication to someone other than myself and my career (although I don't). You should be proud of yourself and the choices you've made. I think it's fantastic and I wish I could be more selfless.

    People who comment on your "lifestyle" are probably just not happy with theirs. I think we are all different and being judgmental on someone's choices is just lame... live your life, who cares what anyone else thinks. But personally, I think you guys are friggin awesome!

  3. because you my dear are in a position that MANY would love to be in...and for that you will get questioned and mocked. I'm sorry if I have EVER made you feel this way. "Live like no one else so later you can live like no one else". ;)

  4. I have come to an understanding that most people are on a kind of auto pilot for their lives and especially their opinions or thoughts.Thye say the first thing that comes to mind, or what they hear everyone around them say. I think if they were called out on their judgments right when they say them, they would be at a loss for words.All moms experience this at some point....for working, for not working, for having only one child , for having more than 2.5 average number of children and on and on. ...I say live the life you love and love the life you live because your the one that has to live it :)

  5. I know I dont say this enough, but I love and admire you, Mike, and the girls....so, just in case you didnt know, I'm going into my rant now...

    I know that I am not the most religious person, and that my lifestyle is carefree and sometimes a bit hedonistic, I can honestly say I would give it all up for what you and Mike have. For me just to be a part of your lives is special. You both trust me with your most valuable treasures and and that would NEVER BE FRUGAL!!

    You constantly see the good in me when I am at my lowest point. So if I need to remind you, YOU ARE STILL COOL...(...most of the time, more than Mike..lol). And you know your girls are beyond smart, extremely well mannered, and the reason to be proud of everything you do.

    Although I'm not around as much as I'd wish I was, I will always have your back. So just say the word, and I'll take these individuals aside and tell them where they can put their opinions!

  6. You go girl! When we moved to Clermont 15 months ago Elijah had been in day care since he was 9 weeks old. He learned a lot at day care and I decided when we moved here I would continue teachng him at home since I was on unemployment. I have my masters in elementary education and have worked in day cares a lot so I bought curriculum but did not have a plan. I have FAILED at teaching my son. It is so easy to not get things done when you don't have a plan. I have envyed you and your dedication to your girls since the day I met you and found out what you did. Being a stay at home mom, house keeper, cook, wife, home school teacher, babysitter, etc, etc is hard work. I comend you for speaking up! Keep up the good yet hard work!

  7. Thanks Lindsay!! You teach your son everyday you are with him. You are a wonderful mother. It is easy for us to get down on ourselves. Others tend to see what we do not. Plans definitely help but man can it get overwhelming!